Google Podcasts
Apple Podcasts
Spotify
Buzzsprout
YouTubeThe Surprising Truth About Who Really Helps You Succeed
Have you ever noticed that sometimes strangers believe in you more than your own family? This powerful insight comes from Mss Francois, a confidence coach from Trinidad and Tobago who faced serious challenges when moving to New York as a teenager.
“It sucked. I hated it. It’s the worst experience. I will not wish that on anyone,” shares Mss Francois about her immigration journey. “The literary put me all my stuff out in a black garbage bag outside the door and I had nowhere to go. And I was in this country maybe about 10 months.”
Her story teaches us important lessons about confidence, success, and finding the right people to support us. Let’s explore these lessons and how they can help you.
Why Strangers Sometimes Support You More Than Family
One of the most surprising things Mss Francois talks about is how strangers helped her more than her own family. This happens to many people, not just immigrants.
“It’s a key point whether you are an immigrant or not,” says Stoy Hall in his conversation with Mss Francois. “There are people in this world that are actually closer to you and will support you more than your family and friends will.”
Why does this happen? Mss Francois explains: “One thing I do realize with family and close friends, as you become and you continue to grow, a lot of times they’re stuck in the person you was when you were 10. When you were 20, when you were 25.”
This means your family might not see the new person you are becoming. They remember the old you. But strangers can see who you are now and your potential.
How to Find Your Support Team
Finding the right support team is crucial for success. Mss Francois suggests looking beyond family and actively seeking new connections:
“Keep your family and friends, right? But at the same time, you’re supposed to be attracting the people or the new people in your circle. So it’s your job and your responsibility to put yourself in certain circles.”
She recommends:
- Joining organizations related to your interests
- Attending networking events
- Finding people in your field who can help each other
“For me, I’m part of Toastmasters, something called Momentum Education, New York, black MBA. So I’m finding myself in circles,” she shares.
The Power of Valuing Your Time
Time is our most valuable resource. Mss Francois stresses how important it is to use your time wisely and with the right people.
“I’m so conscious of what 86,400 seconds is a day,” she explains. “I value my time. So I wanna make sure I’m spending my time with the right people that’s going to inspire me, empower me, and make me go to the next level.”
How can you better manage your time? Mss Francois suggests:
- Track your activities with pen and paper
- Notice how much time you spend on your phone
- Be mindful of who you follow on social media
- Focus on activities that help you grow
The Perfection Trap and How to Escape It
Many people get stuck trying to be perfect before they start something new. This “perfection trap” stops progress.
“Most people just don’t start because they think they always have to do all these things,” Mss Francois points out. “Preparedness is the cousin of procrastination.”
Instead of trying to be perfect, she recommends:
- Start where you are
- Start small
- Improve as you go
“As you get better, you’re gonna do better and things are gonna open up for you. But most of us never end up starting,” she notes.
How to Evaluate Your Friend Circle
One of the most practical tips from Mss Francois is to carefully evaluate who you spend time with. She suggests:
“Really look at your phone and really evaluate these people. Like the five people. Who are you calling the most? Who are you sitting next to at work? Who is really in your circle really?”
Ask yourself:
- Who supports you?
- Who celebrates you?
- Who shows up for you?
- What are they adding to your life?
“If someone is not adding something in your life, they shouldn’t have access to you,” she states firmly.
Using Humor to Build Confidence
Laughter isn’t just fun—it’s healing. Mss Francois uses humor to help women rebuild confidence after tough times.
“I tell people they could actually not have to pay health insurance or pay cheaper health insurance if they laugh a lot more,” she jokes, highlighting the health benefits of humor.
Humor helps us:
- Process difficult experiences
- Create connections with others
- Reduce stress
- Heal from trauma
Take Action Today
The journey to confidence starts with small steps. Begin by evaluating your circle, valuing your time, and finding the right support team.
As Mss Francois reminds us: “Don’t take one day at a time. Take each moment for each moment at a moment.”
Connect with Mss Francois:
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mss-francois-31350a1b3/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MssFrancois/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mss_francois/
- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mss_francois
- Twitter: https://x.com/Mss_Francois?s=09
- YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheMssFrancoisShow1
Remember, your success happens outside your comfort zone. As Mss Francois says, “The excitement and the joy doesn’t come inside the box. It always comes outside the box.”