Stoy Hall, CFP®:
0:00

2024 is bringing us to a wonderful year of what we are deeming discipline and growth, and what better way to talk about both of those discipline and growth than with Julie Johnson with X, y Communications. Welcome.

Julie Johnson:
0:15

Hey, Stoy, so great to be here. So much fun to, to get to spend this time with you. Thank you.

Stoy Hall, CFP®:
0:21

Yes. And like I said, it’s a new year, right? New Year, new us. We always talk about that. And if you’re listening to this and it’s 2025 or 2026, it still applies, I promise you. But as of 2024 we really want to get to who you are, what you’re about. And I believe this conversation, we’ll hit people in a different way than they’re probably used to. Some, it’ll be offputting, others will be enlightening, and a lot of other ones will just be like, yeah, that’s. Yeah that tracks. That tracks. Without further ado, why don’t you talk to us about your background, what you do, how you got to where you’re at.

Julie Johnson:
0:55

Awesome. And yeah I will reiterate and reaffirm lean into the discomfort, right? Because that means that we’re touching on something that maybe means we’re improving or growing or changing in a positive way. So try, joy and I. We’ll do everything we can to make you feel super safe and we’re gonna go for it. Very excited. So I started in the industry in 19 ninety-six. I was one of two female advisors at 150 advisor office at Smith Barney here in Denver. Smith. Barney is now obviously Morgan Stanley. The wirehouse space was, and from what I understand is still. It’s challenging, right? It’s, it is. It’s the old dogs, whether you’re male or female, it doesn’t matter. It’s still, and I don’t mean to be beating up on, on anything, but I was a very successful advisor. I was a sole female partner on a team who managed a billion dollars in assets under management and on a daily basis story. And you and I dug into this pretty deeply. On a regular basis, I was made to feel, Julie, this is business. It’s not personal. You’re taking too much time and you’re, quote unquote wasting time, chit chatting with clients, and you need to be moving on. You need to be more productive. Obviously that equates to more sales products. Stuff that today and the behavioral space, the relationship space, we know and as women and younger people become more our predominant investor. They rely far more heavily on the relationship space. So anyway, my point in bringing all of that up and I was a CFP and a SEMA and so I’ve got massive imposter syndrome as she’s youngest of five kids. Anyway, I’m getting off track. So I’m always one that like goes crazy in any kind of learning certification licenses because. I feel that’s the only way that I’m going to look good enough. To my peers and in a lot of advisors today I see them getting every certification, every license under the sun. And what I hope we jump into today, and I think we’re gonna jump into today’s story, is the fact that they wanna know you. They wanna know who you are. Yes, they need to know that you’re licensed and credentialed and have all of the training that you need, but that’s table stakes. What sets you apart as we both know is how you relate to your clients, how you make them feel. Do you make them feel safe? Do you make them feel secure, not judged? All of those things, and not just them, but also their families. And that is a skill that I think we’re gonna spend the majority of the time on today. I got out of the business in 2011 because unfortunately I got very sick. Spent a couple years on disability and back. Thank goodness a lot of people are like Julie, why did you leave? And I left because I was sick. And then when I came back in, I got to work with Brene Brown for a little while and just went and got a bunch of. Training and certifications and all of this other stuff in behavioral finance and the psychology of relationship building and how to communicate among different generations in the most effective ways, and how to communicate between genders in the most effective ways. And just empowering all of the above. I love it. That was a bit all over the place, but

Stoy Hall, CFP®:
4:47

as is your career, it’s fine. Yes. But let’s start with and if anyone hasn’t caught on, what we’re gonna be talking about is both your mindset and communication really ultimately between genders and generations. And how all of those things that, couple into that with money. But I want to jump into something that I. This, Impostor syndrome, what do you wanna call it? But in our industry, we love to have the alphabet soup behind our names. Do you believe with all the ones that you have, that it was worth it, not just not for your education,’cause I know we learned, but do you actually think it was worth it putting that in front of a client?

Julie Johnson:
5:33

So I would say that’s evolving, as I say in my studies that’s evolving as the client. Gets younger. They, again, of course they want the credentials. They want the licenses, but again, what they care about more than anything else is that they can relate to you and that they trust you and they have that emotional engagement. So whether you’ve got a, a CFP, a CMUD. Or you’ve got your, series seven, your series Sixty-five, what have you. Statistics show that when people specifically people under the age of 60 are looking at you, either on your website, on your LinkedIn, that’s not necessarily going to be a make or break. To them contacting you. Previously baby Boomer age, 65 and older was absolutely a make or break. People wanted to see those credentials, so that’s changing. Where I do feel that a story for some of us and myself included. The reason why I did it is it helped my confidence. I have to be, I used to be a complete and total control freak that went out the window. So now I’m just as prepared as I possibly can be for every conversation, and that comes into play in just a confidence in me being able to exhibit my authentic, confident voice and. So that was a, it’s evolving, right? Everything changes the way advisors and financial professionals get to run their practices today has totally evolved, right? Yeah. Which is cool. You’re living that every day and you get to figure it out. What’s best for you? What’s best for your family? What’s best for your clients? What best? What’s best for your team? And there’s no right there are few. There are far less right or wrong situations anymore, right? Yeah. It’s okay. What’s best for me and what’s best for my clients? What’s best for the people that are in my. World that this affects, and you get to figure it out as long as you’re, fulfilling the rules of compliance. You get to figure it out and it’s really cool.

Stoy Hall, CFP®:
8:00

It really is. And I had this today, actually, a prospective client meeting, and two things happened. One, she actually did ask for like credentials, which I thought was very interesting. I, literally have never had that question.

Julie Johnson:
8:12

May I ask what would you guess was her age? I’m just curious. She

Stoy Hall, CFP®:
8:15

said she was turning 50 this year or next year. Okay. Okay. Okay. And so I thought that was very interesting and I was like, yeah, go ahead. I don’t look up in a broker check. I don’t care where it’s at. Just, here you go. So I thought that was interesting. And then the second piece, which now I just forgot’cause I went off on that tangent. The second piece we were talking about importance of money and how business and how, like how I feed and everything, right? And I told, and I tell all clients this, I only wanna work with people who are ready to be worked with. And if you’re not, there are planners for you. There are others out there for you. And I’m circling this back to why I got my CFP and that was more for me. Like you said, than it was for people out there. And that came down to, I wanted to feel like I was smart enough. I had the enough education behind me. So I could go do my job with confidence. Yeah. And I like that. And I hate that in our industry at the same time. Yeah. Because you don’t learn, I don’t believe you learn enough in your CFP studies No. To actually be able to take care of the situations in the real world. Yep. It’s not there. And the flip side of that, I don’t believe our education system brings enough real world in. To have people prepped

Julie Johnson:
9:33

for the renewal. I did not agree with you more. I will be, I’m so excited. I’m sorry, go ahead. No, you go. No you’re good. I’ll be so excited not to pick on CFP, when behavioral finance, right now I think it’s 7% of the overall testing and whatnot when behavioral finances. Such a, a far larger piece, number one. I’m so thankful that there’s, the Financial Therapy Association, that there’s so many other certifications available out there. Behavioral finance certification, things like that. Because again, just like you’re saying, that’s the street smarts, if you will, as opposed to book smart. We gotta be street smart people. Smart and I was on a webinar with Ross Marino a few days ago and we were talking

Stoy Hall, CFP®:
10:23

54 out shift. By the way, shift conference, if you’re not going go, shout out Mike

Julie Johnson:
10:27

Kids is number one. Fin Psych Behavioral Finance. Yes. And sorry, I hope both be there with bells on. So excited. And we were talking about how so much of our job now is being able to read people. I. And read between the lines. Read between the words. And that is not something that you can learn in a textbook. Sure, you can study it, but the application just requires time. So probably I know you could tell stories. I could tell stories about how many of my clients that are younger that I work with that are like Julie, okay, this is what they said, this is what they did. I’m not sure how to. Define that. I don’t know exactly what’s going on there. And it’s just an experience thing, right? They need somebody to be able to talk it through with, and, so it’s just it. Do everything that you possibly can to find confidence, find a mentor that can work with you to work through these conversations and these situations. And then story. I’m gonna, I’m gonna throw a question back at you a little bit ago. When you were talking about the woman you were talking to today. You said you only wanna work with clients who want to be worked with. I believe, if I’m quoting you correctly, I would love for you to define for me, help me understand what do I, I don’t wanna assume I know what you mean. Tell me more about what you mean. Yes.

Stoy Hall, CFP®:
11:58

And we dove into that with her too because she had brought it up. She’s I’ve been tiptoeing for years and years and years. It’s awesome. Trying to get things done, trying to get organized. And I’ve gotten nowhere and I’m almost 50. Yeah. Like at this point. No holds bar. I gotta get, I gotta get, I gotta get shit done. I have to get shit done. It’s time. Right? Yep. And that’s exactly like she, if I could I record things. If I could take that out and use it, I would, compliance would have my ass. Nor would I do that, but I would love to because of that, of how she said that and the emotions that came out that and that’s what I mean. When you are at the point where you’re like. I’ve gotta get shit done. I can’t rely on myself anymore. That is where we can really do good. Absolutely. And I’ve worked with a lot of people.

Julie Johnson:
12:43

You obviously made her feel safe enough to be able to say that out loud. Yeah. You weren’t spouting, some advisors, when they’re initially talking to prospects, they’re spouting off everything they’re gonna do for that person. How in the world do they know what that person needs? You obviously were asking questions. You were, letting her talk, encouraging her to talk, listening to her, and that’s, that’s perfect. So yeah, you,

Stoy Hall, CFP®:
13:10

yeah. And that’s the whole, that’s our dude. That’s our job. Absolutely. You had talked about, behavior finance and I’ve had Ashley call me on here. Multiple times. But also you had brought up this. Yeah. She’s amazing how the CFP has, I think it’s 7% is behavioral finance. And I was just on another podcast with Misty Lynch, and we were also talking about this, that at this point, our society, your mental health emotions and your finances are intertwined. There’s no way to separate them. There’s no way to have one without the other anymore. Now there’s some people in the world that are lucky enough to have that, don’t get me wrong, but at least majority of us, it’s all intertwined. And that’s

Julie Johnson:
13:54

statistically proven story. That’s just not you making, you. That’s not just your world. It’s statistically

14:00

proven.

Stoy Hall, CFP®:
14:02

Yet the CFP has 7%, right? Shouldn’t that be like 50? Should we see these major firms only doing advertisements around investments and Roth, IRAs and mutual funds and the, vomit all those things. When ultimately it comes down to the person.

Julie Johnson:
14:22

One of my favorite slides, one of my favorite statistics, and I’m a statistics junkie, as is a study that was done by Vanguard. They updated it, I believe, in 2022, and it breaks trust into three parts. So the trust between the advisor and their client and how much is. How much the financial advisor does in three different categories to build trust. And I’m gonna misquote it a little bit, but it ha, it basically was etiquette was one, knowing your stuff right was another. And then emotional engagement was a third. And emotional engagement made up fifty-four percent of that pie. So it was more, out of three different factors. It was more than half of that total pie. And it, that’s just growing and changing. So it’s that emotional engagement helping people feel safe, whether and for me it’s whether you’re an advisor, a financial professional, someone on a financial team or. Working with clients, it’s us communicating with each other and it’s us commuting, communicating with clients and prospects. We gotta figure out how to make people feel safe. Yeah. And you can’t do that without figuring yourself out first. You know your own authentic hundred confident voice.

Stoy Hall, CFP®:
15:49

A hundred percent, yes. You have to know who the hell you are. To help others. Exactly. But you could also be working on yourself too. You don’t have to get, you don’t have to be a hundred percent. None of us ever will. As long you’re working on it. We all change a lot. We all change and we had adapt. That’s why I say it all the time. Quite clients want to know the answer to two questions. Am I good? And do you have my back? That’s it. A hundred percent.

Julie Johnson:
16:13

It’s all they want to know. And when you say, am I good? You mean am I safe, right?

Stoy Hall, CFP®:
16:16

Yep. Am I safe? And do you have my back? A hundred percent. Am I safe? Am I, can I survive? All of those things. Yeah. And then do you have my back when shit hits a fan, are you gonna figure it out, out? Absolutely. Are you gonna protect me?

Julie Johnson:
16:29

Yep. And plan for the unplanned.

Stoy Hall, CFP®:
16:32

And guess what does that not involve? We didn’t say anything about money. Dollars, no. Accounts,

Julie Johnson:
16:37

investments, asset allocation. None of that, ETFs, mutual funds. No. They don’t give a

Stoy Hall, CFP®:
16:43

shit about that. No. They really don’t. Yeah. Even the ones that say they do and they always spit out, their advisor got’em this and there and this. No one really cares about that. Exactly. It’s about the end goal, the end result. And the end result answer is, am I good?

Julie Johnson:
16:59

And we need to remember and include, especially, for dependent upon the age. Of the prospects or clients that we’re talking to, we wanna always be thinking through, okay, how does this affect their family? Not just them, but their significant other, their family. It’s a bigger picture, right? So it’s our job to think more broadly, and I think. Some, excuse me. Some advisors make the mistake. It’s a habit. It happens a lot, but some advisors, I think make the mistake of only working with one primary person as opposed to including, again, the significant other. And even the kids, I’m a big believer, bring in the kids early and often get them so they know you, they trust you. They can call you when they have, they wanna know, okay, do I invest money in a 5 29? Do I invest money in how do I invest money in my retirement? Everyone’s oh, they’ve got Google. No. Yes, they do, but they want, and again, statistics show more and more than 60% of. People under the age of 40 want an individual trained person that they can ask specific questions to. That means us. That means financial professionals, so we need to learn how to make them feel safe and be there to answer their questions.

Stoy Hall, CFP®:
18:25

It truly is our duty to do so specifically in a family unit, right? Obviously Black Mammoth is a modern family office. I believe we all have a touch of family office now, and I think the shift of our entire society is, or society industry is moving towards a family office type feel. Totally agree.’cause you, in order to be the emotional and understand everything, you now know everything and all of that is intertwined. So if it’s intertwined, yeah, you’re doing it anyway. So to have these conversations with just the parents or worse, I’ve seen it with just one spouse, not the other. Yeah. And not the children and not involved in that family unit. You are not doing what is in the best interest for your client. Totally agree.’cause what’s in the best interest of your client is to involve their entire entity, whatever it looks like. Yep. Because that is going to change emotionally. Absolutely. The behaviors, the outcomes. You know it. And so yes, if you are not getting that client, if you’re not getting that from your planner let’s find you a new one. If you’re a planner out there listening, going man, I haven’t done that. Like, how do I even begin? One, go to the shift conference in March 23rd and come talk to us. But the others just reach out and be vulnerable. Hundred percent. Yeah. Do discovery.

Julie Johnson:
19:38

Who? Discovery. Discovery. Dig up for questions

Stoy Hall, CFP®:
19:42

up? Yep. Open and open your sofa. Tell those stories That hurt because it’s doing two things. One, it’s building trust. And it’s also healing you from your trauma and it’s starting to heal them. And that connection when you can do that bond. Does it, doesn’t matter, doesn’t, returns don’t matter. Nothing matters anymore. No, I agree. You are

Julie Johnson:
20:00

bond. One thing that I’d love to interject as far as stories, so I do something called elevator stories, like an elevator pitch in sales, I find in, and I do this in a lot of training sessions when you’re. Creating stories that will help impact and build trust between you and your clients, or you and your prospects. A couple ideas that in my humble opinion are important to keep in mind is you wanna keep’em short. You only wanna be talking for maybe 90 seconds max. You don’t wanna go on and on.’cause remember the time’s not about you, it’s about them. So there’s this sort of balancing act going on between you being vulnerable and showing your real self, but then you always wanna make sure or, and then you always wanna make sure that you bring it back to your client or prospect and say, did that resonate with you? Or, did that help give you a sense of what I’m trying to talk about here and I just, I wanted to be vulnerable with you so you know that you’re safe and sharing with me. So just making sure that we don’t focus on ourselves too much. We bring it back to the client and engage them directly in the conversation.

Stoy Hall, CFP®:
21:14

It’s the art of the conversation, an art of relationship, which. Filters into the art of financial planning. Like it’s an art. Yeah. It’s really a balance. Like it’s a dance, if you will. And you have to be ready to do and sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow. Ultimately. Absolutely true. So now that we’ve harped on that and gone down our rabbit holes that we love to do you did mention a couple of times and we had talked about different generations, right? What have you seen in both your studies and in practice that is going on right now in our society when it comes to intergenerational communication?

Julie Johnson:
21:52

Yeah, from the perspective. So I could go on and I think for your audience, but you tell me, should say, I can look at it from the perspective of advisors working with clients and there’s also a different perspective of older advisors and younger advisors. Do you want me to touch on both or focus on one?

Stoy Hall, CFP®:
22:10

Let’s go with the older advisor and younger advisor. I believe that’s more unconducive. Awesome.

Julie Johnson:
22:20

Perfect. Yeah. Okay. I have lots of those and have studied lots of those. Those, yeah. A couple interesting observations and something that is really important, regardless of what perspective you’re coming from, older or younger. Neither perspective when they are different is right or wrong. They are different. And we have to remember that whether we necessarily agree with that, we have to go into the conversation. I, we don’t have to. I would recommend that we go into the conversation. Keeping that in mind that other person’s perspective is not wrong. It is just different. The best thing that you can do when you’re working with, let’s just say you’re the younger advisor and you’re working with an older advisor. And again, I’m gonna speak statistics, everyone is a human, everyone is different. We need to get to know each person as an individual, but I’m gonna go based on statistics often. Older advisors are a bit more production-based. They’re a bit less sometimes relational. They tend to build the deeper engagements and deeper relationships with one party, not always the man or the patriarch, but statistically speaking, typically the patriarch. And. They try to share their experience with the younger advisor some thing and I’ve worked with many older advisors that get very frustrated with younger advisors because those younger advisors do not see things the way they do, and that’s something that is very common. Listeners, whether you’re looking at it from whatever perspective this is, again, it’s just something that we need to be aware of when working through building trust and building greater engagement between the two. It’s how they’ve always done it, right? I. It just is what it is. So then a younger advisor comes into the mix, and again, everyone’s an individual. I’m speaking from statistics in my own, working with hundreds of advisors over the last eight years. Often younger advisors see things also from their own perspective and younger generations. I was reading a post from Josh Brown the other day from Ritz-Holzweil I never know how to pronounce that. Anyway, it was accurate, yet it was pretty harsh in how he observed younger advisors, and so I’m gonna do a post about it, talking about. How to empower younger advisors or how to empower not necessarily younger, but advisors maybe who have a different perspective than the senior partner, the senior advisor. A couple things that work and they’re, sometimes they’re hard, but they work. So I would ask that you try to engage it anyway, and if you wanna talk through any specific situations, please email me. Joy knows how to reach me. We can totally talk about it. So the first thing that you wanna do again, always is figure out, okay, how are you feeling about the situation? Or if you’re frustrated, if you’re mad, regardless of how you’re feeling. Try to figure why, right? Why are you feeling that way? Is it an argument that’s worth bringing to the attention of the older advisor? Or is it something that maybe is that big of a deal? So the old adage, choose your backs. If it is a, if it is something that is reoccurring and it is really frustrating you then what you wanna do is you want to figure out what’s frustrating you and make it concise. So I always tell the people that I work with, write it down, then write it down again. Make it concise. Then think it through from the perspective of the older advisor, how are they gonna receive that information? Is it gonna piss’em off? Is it gonna, are they automatically gonna say, that’s dumb. Hopefully they don’t, but some unfortunately do. So you want to make sure without letting go of your authentic self, you want to do the best you can to put it in the vernacular and the wording. I know vernacular means wording, but, the generational and or gender specific wording of the person who you are going to be talking to. And again, that’s decades worth of study on my part. I’m happy to help. Because what you want to do is you have an opportunity to bring to them a point of view and something that’s important to you. But if you put it in only your words, they aren’t nec, it’s not gonna necessarily resonate with them. It’s gonna. Either confuse’em. They’re not gonna understand where you’re coming from, and that’s not necessarily their fault. I’m not meaning to defend it, but Right. You will have a far greater likelihood of success in your discussion if you take it to them in wording that will resonate with them. So do your homework. You’ve worked with them a period of time. You know how they speak. You know how I would hope you know how they speak, you know how they analyze, when ideas are received well by them, why are they received well by them? And try to mimic whatever that is. And this may feel, this is big, this is a lot of neuroscience and psychology and whatever, right? But the best thing that you can do is. Go to them, schedule a specific time. So it’s a blocked appointment. Keep it short to the point. Never say, you made me feel or you did this, but it’s I’m sure Ashley talked about this too, being a fabulous couples therapist. It’s couples speak in a way which, you guys will giggle anyone that’s been in couples therapy, I feel I didn’t like this. So you put it from your own self. Because then that makes, that avoids them feeling defensive or like you’re attacking them. So again, this is a very big topic, but it’s very important’cause there’s little simple tweaks that you can do with words and be very intentional about how you approach it. That can make it extremely successful and they will hear you. Whereas if you don’t do the sort of due diligence or you don’t do your homework before approaching the topic with them, it could make it 10 times worse. They could completely dismiss it, which is gonna make you feel worse. It just, it’s worth it to do the time to figure out a, what you wanna say and y and then put it in words that will resonate with them. That was a very long answer,

Stoy Hall, CFP®:
29:52

but to summarize it. Really do your homework on how they operate. Really that in both ways.

Julie Johnson:
29:57

Yes. So older advisors that are struggling with younger advisors. Do you know, and unfortunately I didn’t mean, I just totally cut you off and I apologize, but I wanted to make sure older advisors or older financial professionals that are listening to this, that are struggling perhaps with younger. Advisors, younger team members or different team members, and you try to share with them how you’re feeling. It. It’s not just an age thing, it’s a different perspectives thing and a different communication style. So do like you were just summarizing story, do your due diligence to figure out how can you put what you wanna say and what you are hoping they will hear. In words that will resonate with them. Sorry. Thanks. No,

Stoy Hall, CFP®:
30:46

absolutely. And just it’s a very simple thing to do, but it’s very hard to do.

Julie Johnson:
30:52

Especially when it’s emotionally charged. Correct.

Stoy Hall, CFP®:
30:55

And a lot of the times it is absolutely right.

Julie Johnson:
30:58

There’s so much ego in our industry,

Stoy Hall, CFP®:
31:01

so much ego. It’s tough for no reason. For no reason. I know. Because if we really only, if we wheel it down to what our duty is and that’s to take care of people. And their wealth, then where’s the ego? Absolutely. The only absolute the ego comes from because our industry has driven by money. Yeah. And has been for, since the beginning, and that’s the issue. But that’s the biggest change, I believe too, is it’s less about it the money and more about people. And in doing so, you’re helping more people and doing it the right way. You’re also still making money, which is. How it should be, right? Yes. It’s a win-win for everyone. So I love the conversation and I’ve talked to a couple older advisors, used to be on the team with a couple, and it was always, returns and like you had said earlier, about short and sweet with clients. We don’t have time for all of that. And yeah. That, that had its place, although I still don’t ever well and never agree with it. It had its place. But that’s over. It’s changing. It’s not about that.

Julie Johnson:
32:01

And even, and if anybody ha is working with an older advisor that and they just don’t see this perspective that Stoy and I are talking about, I have so many studies and statistics from Wharton, Vanguard, just from so many different sources that prove what we’re saying is accurate. So if you are getting, if you’re. Having a hard time getting the powers that be to hear you when you’re saying, Hey, I wanna change our messaging and here’s why. Let us know and we’ll hook you up.

Stoy Hall, CFP®:
32:37

In those studies and research, are you seeing?’cause I, from an experience standpoint, because I don’t have all the data in front of me ever, I’m not as big of a nerd as you. That, that being said are you seeing it that also older clients are starting to change their way of thinking towards, I don’t even gonna say younger generation, just the open, more emotional topics driven that way as opposed to like returns. Is that

Julie Johnson:
33:04

seen that yes and no. Yes and no. So older. Older, like over 70. And again, it’s not a hundred percent rule, right? Everyone, right? So we gotta make sure we know these people as individuals. Never assume, but as something that I can tell you with pretty. Deep statistical proof behind to back me up is, and this we’ve talked about this by 2030, over 70% of assets under management are gonna be held by women of all ages. So older, younger, everything in between, and people under the age of 55. So women do tend to. Tend to care less, not I could care less, but they care less about, okay. Our if we’re in a hundred percent equity portfolio, it beat the s and p by 50 basis points or whatever. That doesn’t resonate with them. What does is exactly what you said earlier. Am I safe and do you have my back and do you have the back of my family? That is what they care about. Women, regardless of age and people, especially under the age of 60 and then a little bit less. Men over the, over a certain age. But so just do your due diligence. A lot of times you can figure out where their mindset is. During your discovery, right? You ask, and anybody who has, who, excuse me, does not have discovery questions beyond that of a financial plan, please reach out to us because man, there are some fabulous lists. I have one Brendan, Fraser has one story. I’m sure you have a bunch. There are so many fabulous questions and lists of questions out there that help us to really get into the deeper, more authentic vulnerability with clients and prospects, and it’s super, super important. So my point is they’re doing that ongoing discovery. You can learn what they are wanting from us and therefore how vulnerable to be. How quickly I was reading. A book by David Brooks. I can’t remember the title of it right now. Anyway, it just talks about how we have to be very careful to not, this authenticity and these great relationship building techniques and recommendations that we have are fabulous, but the person we’re speaking with has to be ready for it. They have to feel ready for it, and that’s a judgment call, right? That’s something that we need to not only listen for in their words, but also sense in their body language and their facial expressions. I always recommend to people, unless you absolutely cannot, always have your meetings either via Zoom or in person, because the benefit of even facial expressions and partial body language. Is, there’s so much to it when you learn what to look for and how to pay attention as opposed to just phone. So it’s just, it’s so much, it’s that nonverbal communication. Yeah. So now we’re really getting deep in the weeds.

Stoy Hall, CFP®:
36:28

Yes, we are. So going back, all the money’s going to people under 55 and women, right? Ultimately is majority is where the wealth, a large majority Wealth is moving towards. Yes. Yet a lot of old school mindset was always patriotic. Yep. That word, I can spell that or say that patriarchal. Wow. That is not easy to say. But anyways. And the geek, it is focused on that one, like you said. That’s true. I said nerd not geek. Oh, there, there’s no difference. So where and what can we do both from as a planner right? But also as a society to one, understand that’s what’s about to happen or is happening. And improve it and improve that relationship between women, those under 55 and our industry.

Julie Johnson:
37:23

Absolutely. So if you are a financial professional, which many are and either you or your senior or your team, whoever are just out of habit and out of practice, focusing on say the patriarch, then the way I recommend advisors evolve beyond that is to talk to the primary person that you typically talk to, either again, zoom phone. Or Zoomer in person. Prime would be the first choice, phone, last choice. And say, okay, I wanna make sure, we wanna make sure that we are starting to increase our relationship due respect. Joe, beyond just you and me working together, it’s really important to me. That I’m building a better, deeper relationship with your significant other, and I also really wanna get to know your family. And the reason why is because as a financial professional, I can do a much better job for all of you if I know you. And more importantly, it’s really important to me that your significant other and your family know me. So that when they have questions, when they are thinking about something and aren’t sure where to go, they don’t feel awkward or uncomfortable picking up the phone and reaching out to me or shooting me an email. I wanna make that reciprocal communication and that relationship happen. So what the way I script it for the advisors I work with is what I would like to do Mr. or Mrs. client is schedule a time, if it’s the pat, the traditional sort of patriarch and getting to know the spouse. I would like to schedule some time to talk with both of you. And again, definitely try to do it Zoom or in person and just say just. Again, purely’cause I just wanna get to know her. And then during that meeting you make sure to really get to know her and have a conversation with her. And chances are, it’s not gonna talk, you’re not gonna talk about the portfolio very much. You’re gonna talk about her, what interests her. You’re gonna do your own discovery with her. If he, which I hate to say it, older men sometimes tend to do is they jump in and they take over. You can respectfully say, Joe I’m. So thankful for this time together, but I really wanna get to know Mary. I love the relationship that I have with you. Maybe you wanna change the wording there, but Right. I really want, if it’s all right with you, respectfully, I’d love to utilize this time to get to know Mary and you. It’s not gonna piss’em off. And if it pisses’em off, they’re a jerk. And hopefully you’re not working with clients that are jerks. And then so beyond that, so you gotta do that first. And then once you’ve built the relationship with both parties the matriarch and the patriarch, or whatever the couple looks like, then you say, I would now love to get to know your family. How can you know what’s the best way to make that happen? And if they’re not sure, then hey, when can we set up a zoom? Or when can we, if everybody lives close by, when can we set up an in-person meeting? I hear a lot of people saying, Hey, we’ve tried to reach out to the younger generation and they’re just not having it. They’re not engaging. A couple ways to go about helping with that and developing that engagement is first and foremost you wanna get ma you wanna make sure that the parents are engaged and on board and that they, and so by to get them on board, you can go one of two ways. Depending upon their age, you can say, look, it’s my job as a financial professional to make sure that your family is prepared for the unplanned. God forbid, you could tell a story of maybe, you lost a client at a young age, or a client was disabled, or, and. The relationship with the family had not been as established as you would’ve liked, and that was a mistake that you wanna make sure never happens again because they’re grieving, they’re trying to figure out, where everything is, to pay the bills, to do this, to do that, to make sure that the family is avoiding probate, etc. So you wanna make sure that never happens. You wanna make sure that everybody knows where everything is, number one. Number two, you wanna make sure that they know who you are so that God forbid when that happens, they can call you. They know who to, who to reach out to, where to go. That’s one way. The other way that’s gonna be a little bit less dramatic is. I wanna make sure that your entire family has someone to go to when they have questions. A lot of people, yeah, we go to, Google or what have you, but statistics show, and I think I already said this, but statistics show that people under the age of, 40, they want a person that they can talk things through with so that it’s customized to their needs. So make yourself available to the family. And there are ways to do that. A lot of people are like, oh my gosh, there’s only so many hours in a day. You can schedule quarterly calls for all of your younger clients. You can, there’s ways to facilitate and make it time efficient. And we can talk about that. But it’s really important to be very proactive about scheduling time with the significant others and the families. A lot of the advisors that I work with, it took maybe six months to a year I. Man, are they seeing dividends now? And those, the family members are bringing their accounts over, or, they’re bringing in referrals from other places just because they’re so happy with the relationship. And it just, it there’s no better way to take care of people than to know that they are feeling supported by you, like you said before. Am I good? And, do you have my back? And also it alleviates stress, right? For your clients to know that you have their back. Wow. Talk about a service. You’re enabling them.’cause they’re, they feel confident that you’re thinking this stuff through on their behalf, then they rely on you. That’s a relationship that you can’t replace. So I just talked for a really long time.

Stoy Hall, CFP®:
44:18

It’s a bond that cannot be broken, but ultimately you need to go into those conversations and actually truly care. About that significant another or the family have to, otherwise you’ll come off fake and it might ruin the entire relationship a hundred percent. So they’re, you gotta be real sniffers. Yes. They more than the patriarch or just whoever you’re speaking to yep. They’re gonna be judging, looking for that. Don’t fake it. Just don’t do it If you’re gonna fake it, just don’t do it. Don’t do it. Don’t do it. Yeah. So get yourself in a better mindset as we wrap up the time. Now, what is one thing you wanna leave every. One with that’s listening today, what do you wanna leave them with as a tidbit?

Julie Johnson:
44:55

Yeah. No. I think in, in, in evolving the way that we work with people, changing our mindset from, and I ha I had to do this, changing my mindset from me trying to sell someone something or, knowing that they don’t want, they, there are statistics that say people would rather meet with their dentist than their financial consultants. That means that financial consultant is going about it really wrong. Yeah. You wanna build that relationship like you’re meeting a friend for coffee. You want to be a friend for them. Yeah, you’re gonna be navigating some tough decisions with them and doing what you gotta do, but you wanna be that safe space for them, that trusting person and change your brain so that you know that you’re there as a service pro, as a support person. And that just enables everyone to relax. So if you just change your mindset. You’re there to support them and their families. That’s it.

Stoy Hall, CFP®:
46:00

That’s it. Simple. That’s simple. Take away, simple as you’re there to support them. They’re not dollars signs for you. No. They’re real people and they matter. So I appreciate your time. We’re have all of your socials and all that stuff in the description and whatnot, and hope a lot more people follow you and reach out. Specifically those advisors that. May or may not be struggling. There’s a lot of us out there that may be struggling. It’d be great to have them have some insight from you. So I definitely appreciate your time.

Julie Johnson:
46:27

I gotcha. Thank you.

Black Mammoth:
46:41

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