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Every year we say the same thing:
“It just got away from us this year.”
“We had a lot going on.”
“The kids are only little once.”
Translation:
December showed up exactly when we knew it would, and we still chose vibes over math… again.
I’m not saying that to shame you. I’m saying it because this is how real families live. Holidays, school stuff, travel, winter, traditions, pressure to “make it special” – it all piles on top of an already full life. And your budget quietly waves a white flag in the background.
Then January hits, and suddenly “future you” is doing cleanup duty:
Credit card statement
Random Target runs you forgot about
Extra food, outfits, events, travel, gifts
Emotional hangover from doing too much for everyone else
If that feels a little too familiar, you’re not broken.
You’re just running a predictable pattern with zero system around it.
On the podcast, Rachel Duncan called that pattern out and did something smarter: she built a “Holiday Lessons Learned” ritual that future Rachel is very, very thankful for.
Let’s walk through it.
The BS: “We’ll just remember for next year”
Here’s the lie most of us live on:
“We’ll keep it simpler next year. We’ll remember how this felt.”
No, you won’t. Your brain is not built to carry 12 months of detail about:
What events were actually worth it
What totally drained everyone
What the kids loved vs. didn’t care about
How much all of it really cost
By next fall, the pain has faded. The credit card balance is paid down. The calendar is blank again. You’re optimistic, you’re tired, and you’re trying to be a “fun” parent/partner/friend. So you repeat the same cycle, just with a slightly higher cost of living.
That’s not a character flaw. That’s just human psychology.
So if you’re relying on “we’ll remember,” you’re betting your money and your sanity on a system that has literally never worked.
The No BS Reality: You don’t need discipline, you need a playbook
What Rachel did is simple, and that’s why it works.
She didn’t build a massive spreadsheet. She didn’t invent a new budgeting religion. She created a ritual:
A running “Holiday Lessons Learned” note
A recurring calendar reminder
A budget category that tells the truth
That’s it. But the way she uses those three things is what matters.
Instead of waiting until next year and guessing again, she captures what’s happening now, while it’s fresh and real and messy.
Step 1: Start your “Holiday Lessons Learned” note (today, not someday)
Grab whatever you actually use:
Notes app
Google Doc
Journal
Email draft to yourself
Title it: “Holiday Lessons Learned – [Year]”.
Then brain-dump honestly, not perfectly. Things like:
What events were worth the time and money
What looked cute on Instagram but drained everyone
Which traditions your kids actually talk about
What you never want to do again
What you wish you’d planned for earlier
And yes, include money:
Total-ish spent on gifts
Food, hosting, travel, outfits, decor
Extra childcare, camps, activities
“Holiday specialness” stuff (matching PJs, Santa photos, experiences, etc.)
Don’t worry about it being exact. Done > perfect. You’re building a playbook for future you, not a tax return.
Step 2: Put future you on your calendar
This is the part almost nobody does.
Set a recurring calendar event for next year, 3–6 weeks before things usually kick off. Something like:
“Open Holiday Lessons Learned before saying yes to anything.”
When that reminder hits next year, you’re not starting from zero. You’re opening a time capsule from past-you saying:
“Hey, here’s what actually happened. Here’s what it cost. Here’s what mattered. Let’s not pretend we forgot.”
That one move turns “I hope we do better next year” into “We decided last year what ‘better’ actually means.”
Step 3: Tell the truth in your budget
Next, you build a category that matches reality, not vibes.
Call it:
“Holiday Specialness”
“Seasonal Chaos Fund”
Or just “December, You Don’t Own Me”
Whatever. Name it in a way that reminds you of the why.
Then:
Estimate a real number based on this year’s spending.
Break it into monthly chunks.
Start moving that amount automatically, even if it’s small at first.
If you want to go a step further like Rachel did, you can:
Use a dedicated credit card just for holiday/seasonal spending
Pre-load it mentally (or literally with savings) and track it like a sinking fund
The goal isn’t to be perfect. The goal is to stop pretending December is free.
Step 4: Talk to your people like adults
None of this works if the rest of the household is playing the old game.
You don’t need a family summit with a PowerPoint. You just need one honest conversation where you say:
“Here’s what December did to us this year.”
“Here’s what actually matters to us.”
“Here’s what we’re going to do differently next time.”
Ask:
What do we actually remember from this year?
What did we do because we thought we “should”?
What can we cut, simplify, or replace?
Real wealth isn’t just about how much you have invested. It’s about whether your time, energy, and money are pointed at what you say you care about.
Step 5: Redefine what “special” really means
The hardest part in all of this isn’t the budgeting.
It’s untangling your identity from the performance.
“Good parent.”
“Good host.”
“Good friend.”
“Good partner.”
We quietly link those labels to:
How big the gifts are
How many events we say yes to
How over-the-top the experience looks
But if your nervous system is fried, your bank account is tapped, and you’re low-key resentful under the matching pajamas… that’s not special. That’s just expensive stress.
The win is when:
Your kid’s favorite memory is something simple you were actually present for
You can enjoy the season without money shame humming in the background
January doesn’t start with financial damage control
That’s wealth. That’s what this is all really about.
This is what caring for future you looks like
Here’s the punchline:
Caring about future you is not some fluffy self-help idea. It’s a financial strategy.
Every time you document a lesson, set a reminder, and create a category that tells the truth, you’re moving from:
“I hope next year is different”
to“We’ve already decided next year is different—and here’s the plan.”
If December has been running your life and your money, this is your line in the sand.
Start the note.
Set the reminder.
Name the category.
Have the conversation.
Future you is tired of cleaning up the mess.
Present you has the power to change it.